All stress begins with a thought. It isn’t what’s happening “out there” that initiates the stress response. It’s how we interpret what’s happening “out there” that causes us to become stressed out.
We call this the perception of a threat. If we think this situation will lead to some kind of pain (emotional, mental, spiritual, or physical), our stress response turns on automatically to prepare for the potential pain. The potential pain is what we call a “threat.”
Prevention of stress, then, is best done by focusing on our thoughts, by changing how we think about those things we think are threatening.
When you find yourself in a potentially stressful situation, ask yourself these questions.
When you find yourself in a potentially stressful situation, ask yourself these questions.
- Is the threat real? What is the perceived threat? What is the likelihood of this perceived threat actually happening? (Almost always the answer to this is that the threat is rarely going to hurt us.)
- Can I handle this? (Our past experience tells us that we can always handle things.)
- Is the perceived threat one which I can do something about? Is it in my circle of influence? (As one of my wise students once told me, “If you have control over it, there’s no need to worry about it. If you don’t have any control over it, you also don’t need to worry about it. There is nothing else, so why worry?)
- Can I think about this differently? There are hundreds of ways to interpret the situation differently. That is the wonderful thing about free will or our innate freedom to choose.
For example, many people become stressed in traffic jams. But the reason isn't because they are in a life-threatening situation. The real threat is that they are going to be late.
Now that we understand the real threat, we can ask ourselves the rest of the questions. Can I handle this? It may be uncomfortable, but people are late all of the time. So, yes I can handle it.
Is this traffic jam under my circle of influence? Do I have any control over it? The answer is no. There is no way to control the traffic jam, or being late, so why worry about it?Can I think about this differently? Yes. I can can enjoy my favorite song on the CD player. I can watch other people's reactions and get a good laugh. I can take the time to plan my day or think about some important ideas I haven't had time to develop.
By thinking about the situation differently we avoid turning on the stress response.
Sometimes though, we forget these things and the stress response turns on. When that happens, we need effective ways of turning it off. This involves relaxation exercises and coping skills.We will have more on those in future postings.
Other Resources
www.stressmanagementplace.com (under construction - keep checking it)
Stressed? Take Those Old Records off the Shelf
As a person thats previously struggled with anxiety and still does i know this to be very true about stress. Things that stress you out are most of the time very managable things and shouldnt stress you out at all. I'm excited to take the stress management class at weber this fall from Michael Olpin and learn to manage my stress.
ReplyDeleteI've always tried to live worry free. Sometimes when I tell people that they think I'm lazy or lethargic, but I mean it in a "I try not to let myself be stressed" kind of way. I'm glad this article backs up my personal philosophy
ReplyDeleteKyle Warner
I tend to stress over little, unimportant things. I am pretty sure my parents, who also stress over unimportant things, have so kindly passed this on to me. This article is a great reminder and reference for everyone as we all need to be reminded to take a deep breath and stop stressing about the things we cannot change. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteI always seem to have a lot of stuff going on in my life, and I used to worry a lot about controlling everything, even the things I couldn't. I guess you could say I was a worry-wart. My friends and family taught me a lot of what this article has to offer, and I decided to make a counscious effort to reduce my stress. I still am highly aware of the consequences of certain actions/situations, and I still like to have a "plan", but I feel a lot less stressed out now than I did, say, last year. For example, the semester after I got my first 4.0 in college I was REALLY stressing out about repeating that awesome GPA. I drove myself crazy and did end up with another 4.0, however I tried to relax from that point on and by the end of this semester I will be able to say that my last 4.0 GPA's have been the product of keeping myself sane by NOT stressing out. It leaves me feeling happier and more energized as well.
ReplyDeleteJacky Ghan
I think that stress is how we perceive things, however, when I become stressed out I am usually too stressed to actually assess the situation. Maybe by taking time to step back and think about the stressor and run through the questions listed here, I will be able to more accurately react to the situation.
ReplyDeleteStephanie Bruggink
These pointers on stress really do work. Jamming out to your favorite music and just accepting the traffic jam is kinda fun because other peoples reactions are the total opposite and they can't figure out why your enjoying yourself. I liked how the article said you need to pin point the real stress-or and cause and not blame it on something else. That just makes you more stressed.
ReplyDeleteUp until recently, I never thought about stress that way, looking at what you can change and what you can't, and not stressing about it either way. I've just started thinking like that but until it becomes a habit I think it could be easy to slip back into the old habit of worrying about... basically everything. But these are good points and they really do work.
ReplyDeleteThis article is enjoyable. Many people seem to have problems and feelings they just cannot seem to explain, when really they may be blaming what is at hand, instead of what is the cause. Controlling thoughts and emotions are also a big issue these days; can you imagine if everybody chose to control their thoughts and actions in a positive way? I think it is a great idea to ask ourselves if we can handle the situation at hand in a positive rational way.
ReplyDeleteThis was a good artical for me to read. I am one of those people who gets so stressed over something before it even happens. After reading this article I will hopefully be able to control my stress level a little better and remeber the key points to make that possible.
ReplyDeleteThis is an article that I think many of my friends and associates need to read. I may sometimes be TOO laid back about things but I am not that bad off. The best question to ask yourself was the one about if you have control over it, I loved that quote because I have said similar things (though not so eloquently) to people stressing out while they're with me. It is great advice.
ReplyDeleteThis was a good artical for me to read. I am one of those people who gets so stressed over something before it even happens. After reading this article I will hopefully be able to control my stress level a little better and remeber the key points to make that possible.
ReplyDeleteJeremy Deatry
(I posted this comment above but didn't put my name to get credit)